


Morphine Lover

by Shadowmaster68



Series: A small legion of weather proof ships [21]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Druggie!Bill, He's not really a Druggie, Human!Bill, It's explained in the story, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowmaster68/pseuds/Shadowmaster68
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper had told him numerous times to stop taking the drugs. Bill just, well, it's been said before, but that didn't change that it was true, he needed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morphine Lover

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Gravity Falls Fandom, I'm new here and offer this piece as a welcoming gift to all of you BillDip shippers out there!
> 
> For the rest of you, as in the ones who have stuck around with me for this long, I'm BACK! Did I really leave though? No clue, anyway, new Fandom, I'll be spending some time here for a few pieces. Not sure if I'll take up permanent residence like I did with RWBY, or if this is a one time thing, but yeah.
> 
> Also, I want to thank a very close friend of mine for both unintentionally inspiring this, and then proof reading it for me when I had it done! If you're reading this for any reason, you rock Gus!

_My eyes roll back,_  
_the ceiling fades,_  
_I breathe you in  
Exalt your flames _

Bill had been told numerous times by Dipper that he needed to quit the drugs. He had never threatened to leave, it hadn’t even been implied. They were to close together, and as much as Dipper was insistent that the things were horrible for him, he didn’t threaten things that he wouldn’t go through with. It was something that Bill had always admired, and hated, all at the same time. Bill followed the same philosophy in his life, and refused to say something that was false toward anyone, especially Dipper though.

The truth was, he took what he did because he wanted to focus. Dipper and he had both commented that with Bill’s identic-memory, it seemed like he knew everything. This led to some uncomfortable situations for him, where thoughts, facts, information, or dark ideas would breeze in and out. He had been declared unstable by more than one psychiatrist, but it changed nothing, they couldn’t do anything for him. He just wanted to live in the moment sometimes, focus on what was important to him, which more often than not, meant Dipper.

_Let’s lose our minds,_  
_Come here to me,_  
_We’re wasting time,  
Darling can you hear me? _

“He~ey Pine Treeeee.”

Dipper sighed lightly before putting his book down and looking up at Bill who swaggered into the living room of their apartment with a smirk on his face. Bill knew that Dipper didn’t care for the nickname, but had proudly declared that it was his pet name for the other man, and Dipper could do nothing to shake the name, no matter what he had tried, though after a few discussions, and admittedly arguments, there was only one sort of situation where Bill would refer to him by it.

“Bill, please. You know I don’t like that you take that stuff. Don’t flaunt that you just took it in front of me.”

Bill knew that he could make both of their lives so much easier if he really explained to Dipper why he did it, but there were some things that he wanted to keep to himself, no matter how much he lo-cared about his boyfriend.

“Pine Tree,” he whined in response, his smirk still present, “You know that you love me anyway.” He pulled Dipper up, before flopping into his chair, easily pulling the slightly shorter man into his lap.

Dipper gave another sigh at his antics, but didn’t argue against the point. “I would like to love you for a long time though,” he said a bit mournfully.

Bill frowned lightly at him, before easily poking his noise, disrupting his train of thought. “I plan to live a long time for your information. Who else is going to bother you incessantly like me?”

“There’s always Mabel.” Dipper said as he finally gave in and snuggled into his boyfriend’s lap, enjoying the spot.

“Well yeah, but Shooting Star isn’t anywhere near as good a lay as I am,” Bill commented nonchalantly. He barely flinched when Dipper slapped his arm lightly with a call of his name. Instead Bill focused on how Dipper’s face turned into a lovely shade of red when he was embarrassed. “You always make me think pine trees really do change in the fall when you blush like that.”

Dipper gave a soft sight at the sweet words. Bill wasn’t always the most romantic, but when he said such things, it really seemed to make Dipper melt just a little bit. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he knew how dangerous it was. He had to know, to see if he could talk him out of it. Bill was a pain, but he was his pain, and he wanted every second with the pest that he could get. “Why do you take it Bill?”

_Heroine my sweetest sin,_  
_I can’t seem to get enough,_  
_Pull me under, wake me up,  
Feel the rush _

Bill sighed softly, he didn’t want the argument, not now, not again. Dipper was already relaxed in his lap, and he didn’t want to chase him out of it. “For you,” he answered quietly. While Bill refused to lie, he was not against deception, so long as what he said contained the truth, even if it was not the whole truth, it fit into his philosophy. He rarely split hairs when it came to Dipper, but this was one of those times.

Dipper twisted slightly to look at Bill, only to see that he had been studying Dipper, looking him over, a look of admiration on his face, a look of longing, a look of love. Still, he needed to know, there were many mysteries of Bill, but this wasn’t something he was willing to let go, no matter what happened. “What do you mean?”

_Morphine lover make me numb,_  
_Make it so I can’t get up,_  
_Paper thin ’til you sink in,  
Could you be my heroine? _

“I mean just what I said. I take it for you.”

“How in the world does that make any sense?” Dipper asked, no frustration or anger filling his voice. No the only tone he had for the other man was a questioning one. He had learned long ago that not every way Bill thought through things would make sense to Dipper straight away, but as time were to go on, he was always able to figure it out.

“I don’t always make sense.” 

“Yes you do. You’ve always made sense,” Dipper said lightly, Bill’s neutral tone making him nervous. Bill had never hurt him before, but he was definitely not opposed to attacking his own body. Bill had once told Dipper that he found pain to be “hilarious.” It had taken quite a bit of pleading on Dipper’s part to convince him that he shouldn’t do such things. “You’re crazy, there’s no doubt to it, but you’re my kind of crazy. I always know why you do anything.”

“Except for this.”

_Do you feel exposed?_  
_Let your feelings show,_  
_Can I taste you, can I replace you?  
I need to know _

“Because you won’t talk to me Bill,” Dipper said quietly.

Bill looked at him, eyes wide. He had a torn look on his face, as though he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be anywhere other than there or not. “It’s true.”

“I know, but there’s more.”

_Let’s lose our minds,_  
_Please stay with me,_  
_We’re wasting, yeah,  
We’re wasting time _

“There are somethings that I need to keep to myself Pine Tree,” his face begged Dipper to drop it…but something seemed to keep edging him on. Dipper felt like he was close to something, and he couldn’t stop, not this close.

“Bill, please. You don’t have to bear this alone.”

“Yes I do!” Bill shook in his seat, vibrating under Dipper, though he couldn’t see the other man’s face. He had ducked his head.

“I’m right here for you,” Dipper said, ignoring the shout. “I’m not going to leave no matter what you tell me.”

Bill stopped. That was when Dipper saw it, the tears that were slowly working down to his barely visible chin. There were no sniffles, no sobs, his shoulders weren’t even moving, but Dipper recognized what was happening anyway. This was knew for the both of them, in all of their time together, Bill had never cried, ever. Dipper had always been the cry baby of the two, and they both knew it, so for their roles to reverse, even for just a moment, it was throwing Dipper for a loop.

_“Why don’t you believe me?”_

“I do believe you,” Dipper said heavily. “I just want to learn.”

Bill took a shuddering breath, before he started. “My mind runs at full speed at all times. I take forever to go to sleep, I can’t focus on one thing at a time, I have dark thoughts pass through, things I don’t want to think about. I can’t only be with you in the moment, no matter how much I want to be.”

_Heroine my sweetest sin,_  
_I can’t seem to get enough,_  
_Pull me under, wake me up,  
Feel the rush _

“I take it because it clears my mind. It lets me focus solely on you, and whatever is happening in the moment. It enables me to get a ‘tunnel vision’ of sorts, and more often than not, its you at the end of it Dipper.”

“Bill,” Dipper said quietly. Bill never gave off such emotions, to most it would probably overwhelm them. Most weren’t Dipper Pines though, Bill wasn’t the most important person to them, and they weren’t his Pine Tree in return. “I never knew.”

“Well, now you do,” He said nonchalantly, as he attempted to dry the tears on his face. “I’m sure I’m even more of a freak to you now.”

_Morphine lover make me numb,_  
_Make it so I can’t get up,_  
_Paper thin ’til you sink in,  
Could you be my heroine? _

Dipper leaned back into Bill’s lap and brushed a hand through his blonde hair, making molten gold eyes meet with his soft browns. “I told you there wasn’t anything you could say or do that would chase me away.”

Bill’s eyes widened and asked, “What do you mean?”

“You think having an over active mind is going to chase me away, a few dark thoughts? Everyone gets those, it's no big deal. I’ll admit that I don’t really understand being unable to focus, but if that’s all. The point is, I’m not going anywhere, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

_It starts with the spins,_  
_Yeah you got me swimming_  
_I’m falling to pieces and I won’t be whole until you let me in_  
_Until you let me in_  
_Until you let me in  
Until you let me in oh _

“Pine Tree,” Bill whispered softly. He gave a chuckle and said, “You really are the best, aren’t you?”

Dipper blushed lightly again, and said, “That’s what you keep telling me.”

“Well, we both know that I only tell the truth.”

“Feel better then?”

“Definitely.”

_Heroine my sweetest sin_  
_I can’t seem to get enough_  
_Pull me under, wake me up  
Feel the rush _

Dipper gave Bill a kiss on the cheek and asked, “So, are you going to keep it up, or has this changed anything?”

Bill raised an eyebrow and asked, “I thought you’ve told me before that you didn’t want me to change?”

Dipper frowned and said, “I don’t, but I also want you to be around for the rest of my life.”

Bill rolled his eyes, “We’ve already had that discussion Pine Tree. You’ll need to find a better argument.”

_Morphine lover make me numb_  
_Make it so I can’t get up_  
_Paper thin ’til you sink in  
Could you be my heroine? _

Dipper gave a sigh and collapsed against Bill’s chest. “I really should give up shouldn’t I?”

“It would make your life easier,” Bill said with a smug grin.

“How about I level the playing field a little bit though?” Dipper asked with a grin of his own.

Bill’s grin quickly turned to a frown before he shook his head. “I’m the one that get’s to put the poison in my body. You stay healthy.”

Dipper gave a chuckle and said, “Not that kind of drug. I’m already addicted to something else anyway.”

Bill frowned at him, not understanding, not until Dipper finally gestured at the taller man. “Well, if you’re already addicted, then there’s not much I can do about it can I?”

Dipper chuckled again and wrapped his arms around his dorky boyfriend. “So how about it Bill?”

_My heroine_  
_My heroine  
“Could you be my heroine?” _

“Of course Pine Tree. Anything for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I should not before any and all ranting begins that I have never, ever, ever done any sort of drugs, have no idea how they actually effect people, and I have zero interest in doing any sort of drugs. This was based entirely off of a song and the idea that spawned from it.
> 
> Please mighty Gravity Falls Fandom, accept the offered gift and allow me to spend further time here!
> 
> Now for the usual stuff. For those of you unaware, the song in this is called Heroine, by Sleeping with Sirens. I have a problem with this song, can't get it out of my head. This helped alleviate some of that, but it's basically playing on a loop even as I type this now. I'm sure that this wasn't really intended to be a romantic song, but it felt very...intimate to me, and it seemed to just kind of build this idea around it as I listened to it.
> 
> I need to run something by you guys, I know not everyone who reads those stories is here, but I would like to get this out there. I'm done with my crossover stories, Twisted Fates and The Rose Embelm, I'm just done with them. I don't like them the way that I used to. I'll admit that I'm still kind of intrigued by the idea of them, but in the end, I don't want to work on them anymore. What I want to know, should I just declare them finished and leave them here on the site, or should I just delete them? I'm hoping some of you wonderful people who read the things I post can give me an idea of what I should do with them. I'm even willing to discuss with others if anyone likes the idea and wants to take them off of my hands, and I'll probably take down the hiatus declaration for something declaring my ending with the piece, but yeah, I love everyones' opinions, and would like to hear what you think!
> 
> Also, my deepest apologies to all of the hopeful readers that are waiting ever-so-patiently for a new chapter of Role Reversing Murders (do you think I could get away with just referring to that as RRM?), I promise that I have something in the works, I just, I need to get this BillDip binge out of the way. I promise that I won't leave you hanging for to much longer!
> 
> I think that I've covered everything I wanted to say. If any of you awesome folks find corrections that need applied, please don't hesitate to point them out! Or if you just want to say something about the piece itself, like I said, I love hearing what ever you guys think!


End file.
